Helen Hopeful:  “Can we retake quizzes or are we like stuck with the grades we have?  Because I did like horrible on the last quiz and I don’t want it to affect my grade.”

Me:  ” -wopwopwopMIDTERMwaahh- ” (like the adults in Peanuts, plus something about the midterm)

Helen Hopeful:  “Oh, I’ll totally study for the midterm.  I like always totally prepare for those.  Like I have one in another class tomorrow and I’m like totally ready for it.  But … quizzes ….”

These aren’t pop quizzes.  The syllabus includes a schedule of required and suggested readings and assignments, every assignment and quiz and test of every kind, and I have never varied from it.  Doesn’t matter.  I could tattoo it on people’s forearms next time.  Wouldn’t matter.