Compared to some of Syfy’s recent fecal offerings, Ice Spiders (airing today at 5 pm EST) is a masterpiece.  If not now, catch it when you can.  You’ll thank me; just suspend your disbelief for a couple of hours.  And why not?  If there ever were a secret military spider-silk breeding program led by Vanessa Williams, of course the spiders would need to be the size of ponies, and a Colorado ski resort would be their ideal hunting ground, and they’d pretty much have to feed by ripping people’s heads and limbs off.  Due only in part to the humans’ craptacular acting, the giant spiders also chomp down every scene they’re in:  they’re shiny and colorful, and can they ski?!  Hell yeah!  Watch them burn up those black diamond runs, squealing with delight, almost (dammit) catching Dumb Hunk Lead Guy, and tell me that doesn’t fill your heart with Christmas cheer.  As an extra-special Yuletide miracle, the military swoops in at the last minute to save at least a couple of our hero(in)es.  And visions of sequel-plums dance in our heads.

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