…nor are they found primarily in the classroom. I think they spend most of their time tweeting and emailing about their dim hindbrain reactions to news items. Like this one.  But I’m referring to some people who blatted out their foolishness for the TV version of the story, not to any online commenters who may or may not be fabulous people.  See, news readers always want to know what “you” (i.e., couple of arbitrarily chosen nitwits) think about a breaking story they’ve just spent a whole 30 seconds briefing “you” on.  In this case, “you” took “classified information” to mean “private details about me (me! me! me!)” and boasted that “you” had nothing to hide and were proud to submit to whatever body-cavity rummaging the agency might demand, because they have A Job To Do, which is called Keepin-me-n-my-famly-safe-from-terrists.  One of the proudest and most patriotic (is that even the right word?  we need a new one to indicate that the borders of our nation now lie at the tip of each individual’s nose) of these livestock, Bob somebody (McDouche?  McTool?) had a special request.   He’d like TSA to collect family histories of the mental health and substance-abuse status of every airline passenger because “people like that don’t need to be sitting” next to him.  Should “people like that” just not be allowed to fly, then?  Didn’t register with Bob at all; they just didn’t need to be sitting next to him.

I think they did eventually find one person who cared about actual, you know, classified information.  Of, like, the country and stuff.